--- /dev/null
+Introduction
+
+Thank you for downloading XEmacs. We of the XEmacs development team
+believe user satisfaction is our number one priority, and we hope that
+you will be pleased with the power of our editor. Please follow all
+of the instructions in order to enjoy a quick and easy installation.
+
+
+Getting Started
+
+In this guide, information which you will need to supply will be enclosed in
+angle brackets, <like this>. Commands which you will have to enter will be
+indented,
+
+ like this.
+
+You will need to provide a loading directory, in which to load the
+material from tape (/tmp/xemacs is recommended), and a permanent
+installation directory (/usr/local/xemacs is recommended).
+
+
+Loading From Tape
+
+First create and change directory to the loading directory:
+
+ mkdir <working directory>
+ cd <working directory>
+
+Now you are ready to load the software from tape.
+
+The specific device name needed to load the tape varies with hardware vendors,
+and may be found in Appendix A, "Vendors and Device Names".
+
+Load the software from tape:
+
+ tar xvf /dev/<device name>
+
+You have now loaded all of the software from tape, and are ready to compile and
+install the XEmacs Text Editor.
+
+
+Compiling and Installing the XEmacs Editor
+
+Compiling and installing the libraries is handled by a user-friendly shell
+script. You will need to provide some information to the script, such as your
+organization name and registration number. To run the script, type
+
+ /bin/sh xemacs/xemacs.install -d <installation directory>
+
+Follow the script's directions, and provide the information which it prompts
+for.
+
+When the script prompts you for the directory in which the distribution files
+are located, you will find that you are unable to provide it with any directory
+which the script will deem satisfactory. That is because it is necessary to
+order the following additional parts which are necessary to continue with the
+installation:
+
+ Part Number Qty Name Price
+
+ GM-96-3026 1 Goat, male 1000.00
+ CB-13-2395 1 Candle, black 50.00
+ CG-63-6376 1 Chalk dust container 10.00
+ IB-89-3335 5 Incense sticks 5.00
+ DE-44-8846 1 Dagger, ebon, curved 500.00
+ AS-87-2319 1 Altar, silver 10000.00
+
+Wait until the additional parts arrive; you will be ready to continue the
+installation the next Friday the 13th at midnight.
+
+
+Ritual for Successfully Completing Installation
+
+Stand in front of the computer. Pour out the chalk dust in an inscribed
+pentagram around you; be sure that it is without breaks. Set an incense stick
+at each of the five corners, the altar in front of the computer, and the candle
+in front of the altar.
+
+Light each of the incense sticks and the candles, chanting in a low voice:
+
+ Daemons and spirits of the netherworld
+ Forces of all that is chaotic and mysterious
+ Essence of Netscape and MicroSoft
+
+ I am coming here to appease you
+ I offer you this goat
+ That my software may work
+
+ I bind you here
+ Do not make my system crash
+ Let the software install as advertised
+
+Place the goat on the altar, and slaughter it with the dagger.
+
+ May this goat feed you
+ Sate your lust for blood
+ Into it may your mischief fly
+ Not my computer
+ Make the software work
+ For this is the only way
+
+Then spit into the computer's ventilation slots. This will complete different
+circuits inside the computer, causing its motherboard and cards to function in
+ways that the engineers never intended, thereby making your system compatible
+with our libraries.
+
+Reboot your computer. The installation is now complete.
+
+[This has undergone a minor rewrite for XEmacs. It originally
+appeared on rec.humor.funny courtesy of jonathan seth hayward
+<jhayward@students.uiuc.edu>, and is included by permission of the
+author].
projects / chise / xemacs-chise.git- / blobdiff